A Clean Slate

To write on a clean slate. But what should I say. To know not what the future holds. Is such a lovely trait. I lost the art of knowing the present. Was in 2009, I am sure. It was then that it all turned into a blur, or was it six years later when I realised that I had been taken for a ride. By none other than the one who I had permitted into my life. It was sad, to say the least. My children had grown up all oh so tall, and this mostly without me. They are even taller now and know that it is wrong to lie, but it has turned into a compulsion for them, although in the astral space they will not lie. Then they are being truthful when they say that they have been abused, and I have seen so many scars between 2016 and 2023 that I find it difficult to not believe.


It is true and not a fabrication, the face tells all they say, or is it the mind which is difficult to control. The truth is out and no one knows or is it that everyone does but does not show. I think not, and just jot my thoughts down, I know not that what I type is read out loud by this same mind which knows and will show to all who dare to care that life is not the same since he began to take me for granted. 


I should never have left his side, my biggest regret is that I did and tried to hide my thoughts from him. I should never have, for he took offence and perhaps not rightfully so, but he did take offence to the fact that I had stopped being his completely and solely. 


And who did it hurt but our children. Who got punished, but our children. He had no right to hurt them so though. Truth will out and he will repent but who will make him is something that is open to inspection. Will it help to know or not, will it help to show or not, will they cry or will they not, is debatable not even. It will help to have this tale turned out to dry and it will help to have his actions turned to nought so everyone can tell whether he is bad or not, is debatable not even, for his actions need to be judged. My children need to be returned to me. I write here knowing fully well, that no one may read these thoughts of mine, or maybe I know that someone will soon and I hope not in vain and the pain will end soon and that my heart will not show so much disdain…and soon.

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