Why not now

Reading Milan Kundera’s 89 Words followed by Prague, A disappearing Poem… It is really nice how he collects words in a dictionary and I like the first word. I would like to pay my respects to this amazing writer.  Absolute: God, the one who made us all. His power above us all. The strength which he has given us. Absolute, the one word which comes to mind when you think of the Universe and its Creator. Absolute, the almighty who is there to protect us all. I first read the Unbearable lightness of being a long time ago…it is a book which I will read again as I was too young when I read it for the first time…25 years on and I think that I will see in it a new light, a new way of being. Amusing: The thought of me being paranoid…paranoid that the flower pot in this room had been turned around by Someone , when it was probably I who did it after I filled it up with water. A word which I don’t use often enough these days. A word which conjures up happy days and thoughts of my sons in my h...

And I know not how to not say that those who know me, must know that I am saner than sane; but what is there to know when the country likes to hurt those who look different to the ones who come for over there; I know that I have angered some and I am Sorry; I am Sorry too that I know this secret, but how does it help to hurt us peoples so? How does it help to control the population growth, when all it does is hurt the future so? I Know Not What to Say I can go for dinner in a little while, I know not what to say here in this little diary of mine, It is sad today or not, I know not, Maybe it’s fine coz it has been sadder than this, And the lows that I have felt have gone for now, Coz there is hope that things will look up and it will not know sadness for a while, Or will it?

 I stay in a one bedroom place, The thought of going to which hurts too much, As it is quiet there without my three; Two have been there but it is not cosy, A sad place that I must go back to, And yesterday I learnt that even Meditation I can’t know too much, This as the Doctors still force feed, And, what the meditators don’t know is that meds are just used to abuse, To detain and retain the one who is more sane than the sane now!

What do I write here, I bought some books that I thought I would read, however, my ADHD is so strong now that I can hardly read two pages before I have to put the book down again; Is it ADHD or is it the fact that he made me homeless between 2018 and now.  I stayed in hotels then whose staff bullied me no end before forcing me to call 000 and report my concerns. They must have known that women, especially coloured women get taken away by the MHC just because they are worried about their children who are in the care of a man who had abused her.  I knew his angry ways and so do they but they will not complain like I do as they are afraid of those members of Australian society who like to hurt children who want to be in their mother's care. So I have stopped, too, but I have asked for help from the Chief Minister as one Barrister has written to me to say that I must not get in touch with him even though he knows the reason why I do; A Monarchy, that is what I am up against or is ...

 ...and I haven't written a thing here. A blog that sits empty as thoughts jostle for importance in this mind that would like to stay empty, devoid of all thought but the middle class of Australia will not let it be and hurts it just because the owner is his ex wife. It does not know that it is wrong to do so now, the Leader said it a while ago. So Nazis stay away from my space coz it is not too far away that time when your thoughts will not be taken lightly and words will be allowed to flow out into this world again. Perhaps the words will go silent as the thoughts will take precedence over everything else and to think will be considered a Sin but to hurt like this will be wrong and those who sin will be sent to jail and forced to do Community Service.

 I don't know whether I have written this earlier too, but what happened in 2009 is here to stay with me till the end of time, this as someone I met started to make me look at my life once again; it was wrong of me I know now coz I had three children to worry about, and, three children whose lives depended upon my every move, so I moved out and wanted all three to move in with me but they interfered, and, held them back so we could only meet for seven days every fortnight. it was sad but that is what happened and I realise now that I was evicted and forced to move out  because his family and he had had too much of my sureness. After that, in 2012, I continued my work on the physics project or was it the psychology project, Synchronicity and how it helps to know that one is not trapped and not alone, and, that there are others who think with one and support one. But then in 2014 I came across a book. Serendipity or destiny. The End of Time it is called and it does signal an end...