To deny and then to remember that what was there is not there anymore...

I am scared and I don't know why. 
These women, they really stalk and they still think that I am their friend. 
I am scared but not because of them.
They twist and they turn and they fly and they squirm and they scream non stop
I think and I know but not because of them.
And it goes now the thought that was with me but just a little while ago
And I think not that they will not not come back but that it is a given that they will now.
They are many and we only four
Some think that I should not not know 
And most agree with the thought 
And so I still lose my patience every now and then 
And then those who can know from a distance 
Get upset and take their protection away from me, ie us
Don't. I get upset but it is not because of you but it is because of what is happening to me and to all four of us right now in this mind space 
I think not and I would like to 
To just know that silence again
With them there beside me as we used to sit around the fireplace and study for the next day.

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